It better be the party of the summer when the invitation was a bottle of Ace of Spades! You want to know what fuck you money is like? Michael Rubin spending $50,000 just on invitations. You think Michael Rubin worries about an extra $50k thought? A new revenue stream just magically appeared out of thin air for Fanatics. Gay football players are going to build the Sixers a new arena.

Talk about a guest list that’s all over the place though. We’ve got rappers, models, and athletes interacting with TikTokers & YouTubers. Than I’m sure you have Michael Rubin’s close friends there too. What the hell does Michael Rubin’s financial advisor talk with Lil Baby about? Making sure he’s balancing his stocks with his bonds correctly? Does Rubin’s best friend from synagogue bump into Lil Uzi Vert at the urinal and ask if he saw the ocean was on fire? You can’t make small talk with those guys. There’s nothing you two have in common. Do you think this regular guy in the background of Winnie Harlow’s IG story understands this world? Hell no. He’s just happy to be there. He knows he’s about to eat the best food in the world for free, drink the best alcohol, and maybe get a chance to rub elbows with James Harden.

Honestly right now this is the greatest competitive advantage the Sixers have to lure the best free agents. Imagine the pitch from Daryl Morey. I know it’s cold and gross for 8 months of the year, and it’s not a media empire like New York or a storied franchise like Boston. But let’s look through this PowerPoint of everyone who attended Michael Rubin’s 4th of July party. Do you want to yuck it up with Jay Z, Travis Scott, Lil Baby, or Megan the Stallion? You do huh? Great sign this 5 year deal and you’re guaranteed an invite and +1 every year you are here. Genius!