Howard Eskin’s Favorite Things:

  • Ray Kroc
  • Coming home from a 1pm Eagles games and stopping to get Spike and him some McFlurries. Cookies & Cream for Howie. And Twix for Spike. But only the Left ones. You give him Right Twix he’ll send it back.
  • Listening to the Insane Clown Posse on his Beats Studio³ Wireless Noise Cancelling Headphones to drown out the National Anthem.
  • Mink
  • A #11 Large Filet-O-Fish Meal w/ extra tartar sauce and an Orange Hi-C
  • Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc
  • Submerging himself in the ball pits at Play Place for “Howard Time”.


You can call Howard many things. Not loyal isn’t one. Look at the breakdown of caloric intake of Shake Shack vs. an Oreo McFlurrie.

*Based on a 2,000-calorie diet

Sorry Howard cares about the arteries of Joel Embiid. True or False: If Joel Embiid has a heart attack and is out for the rest of the playoffs that’s not good. Howard might as well be eating a salad compared to Shake Shack’s vat of bacon grease they’re passing off as ice cream.